Future in the past
by Leonie1988
Summary: It's their first day of work, but one thing is different from how we know it. Izzie and Meredith share something, Izzie and Christina kick-ass and Derek is in for a big surprise. D/I, some D/M, C/I/M friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my third new GA story, but I promise, that I will update them all. I won't get over my head!

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Future in the past

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Izzie Stevens was finally there. Today was the day she was going to start doing what she wanted to do since… well since she can remember.

She could finally leave her past behind. The trailer park thing, the modeling thing and of course the being-pregnant-at-sixteen-and-giving-her-up-for-adoption thing. The last thing wasn't so easy to get out of her head though.

She stood in front of the glass doors, that separated her from the rest of her life. The Seattle Grace Hospital was waiting for her.

Somebody stood next to her and she glanced to the side to see who it was and why that person was stopping.

"Hello. I'm Izzie."

The woman looked to Izzie.

"Hi, I'm Meredith. New today?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. Come on, lets conquer this place."

"Sure." Izzie grinned and together they entered the huge lobby.

A few minutes later and getting lost only once they stood in their locker room and examined the other interns.

"I'm tired!" Meredith said and yawned.

"Why? What did you do last night?" I asked her with a knowing smile.

"Bar. Alcohol. Some guy. I really can't recall everything. I just woke up this morning with this seriously hot guy in my bed."

"Seriously? That's brave with the 48 hour shift coming up and all."

"Yeah, wish me luck!"

"I will, you me too."

"Will do."

A small Asian looking woman came up to them.

"Hey, with whom are you two?"

"Dr. Bailey." they both answered.

"The Nazi? Me too."

"Her nickname is the Nazi?"

"Yeah they say she can kill with her eyes."

"She must be huge."

"She's not." said a guy walking up to them.

"Who are you?"

"George O'Malley. And you are?"

"Christina Yang."

"Izzie Stevens."

"Meredith Grey."

"Nice to meet you, I saw you at the mixer."

"Probably… Hey Iz, is THAT the Nazi?"

"She is not tall at all."

"I told you so."

Dr Bailey was standing in front of the room, talking to a doctor, so they had time to analyze her, but they were soon interrupted by another intern blocking their view.

"Shit I'm late again, did it start jet?"

"No." I answered and he looked up at me.

"Hey you must be the infamous Dr. Model, It'll be a blast for me to make fun of you! The Nazi? I'm with Jeremy."

"Oh, get lost." Christina said, helping me out.

He made another stupid comment and left to get changed.

"Thank you."

"We have to work with this guy? Seriously? And you are a model? Seriously?" Meredith asked.

"Ex."

"I always miss the good gossip. Dammit." Christina said and turned around, because the Nazi entered their room to start.

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7 Hours and 17 rectal exams later, Izzie was pissed and knew that the Nazis hated her. What in hell did she do to her? She probably hates nice people, people tell Izzie all the time that that's an annoying side of her.

Everybody sits together in the cafeteria and Izzie tries to eat after the rectal exams, while they talk about Ellis Grey and how everybody just wants to be Meredith. They stop abruptly though, because she walks in and rambles about some stuff nobody understands. Then between all these normal things, she suddenly sees him. She sees him. HIM. She thought she'd never have to see him again, but that hair was unmistakable. Those eyes… and he was coming up to their table. Oh no, no, no, he shouldn't. But he was getting closer and closer with his gaze down to the chart and Izzie could feel the blood drain out of her face.

"Are you alright Izzie?"

She couldn't even make out what George had just asked her.

He started speaking to them and he finally looked up.

"Derek!" Meredith said, but held her hand in front of her mouth quickly.

"Mer… what? Oh my god."

His voice! How could only a voice be so damned sexy? But why did he stop? He stared at Mer. Great. And she stared back.

Again Christina came to the rescue.

"Dr. Sheperd, what did you need?" he looked at her.

"I'm sorry, every year one of the new inters gets to scrub in on a minor surgery and Dr. Burke send me down here to announce that this year, it'll be one… no."

He looked up again from his chart and our eyes met for the first time. "…Dr. Isobel Stevens."

That she would get to scrub in didn't even register with her, it wasn't important at all at this moment.

"What the hell is going on here?" this time Christina didn't save her, she would have strangled her, if she had gotten the chance to.

"Izzie…"

"Derek, hello."

"This is freaky." George whispered to Christina, who just nodded.

Derek tried to remain calm and directed his words to all of them again.

"Thanks for your time."

Then he looked at Mer again and at Izzie and left.

"Congrats Iz!"

"What?"

"To the surgery!"

"Thanks…"

"How did you two know Dr. Sheperd?"

"Long story." they both answered and as Izzie looked Meredith in the eye, she knew that he had to be the guy from the night before.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Derek was her BOSS? And he slept with her friend? Her past would always come back to haunt her. Everything gets to much for her and she stands up and leaves as quickly as she could, without even putting away her tray. How could she still be this obsessed with this guy who got her pregnant and left since… what? 17 years?

His grandparents lived a few trailers up the road in Chehalis. When he was there over the weekend and summer and they were still very young, they used to play baseball together with the kids from the neighborhood . She knew he didn't really belong there, he wore nicer cloths and his hair was perfectly cut and styled. Than he disappeared for many years without any goodbye or an explanation, I heard his parents and grandparents had a big fight and he wasn't allowed to come back. But that changed, when he was old enough to make his own decisions. He came for one last summer 10 years ago, when she was 15 and he was about 22. Oh and what a summer that was…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a small hand that pulled her into an on-call room.

"Meredith! What the hell?"

"How do you know McDreamy?"

"McDreamy?"

"Derek, how do you know Derek Sheperd?"

"I… He's the one you slept with last night isn't he?"

"Ye…Yes."

"I know him since I was eight and he fifteen."

Izzie desperately wanted to leave, so she made an attempt, but Mer held her back again.

"Please, Izzie."

"Meredith I hardly know you, I can't tell you my entire history."

"He is you entire history?"

"A very big chunk of it. I haven't seen him in 10 years though."

Izzie started to leave again, but this time Mer didn't stop her, she did it by herself.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready, okay?"

"Okay, but… argh, this is crap."

"Major crap."

"I can't believe he is my boss!" they both said and had to laugh a little.

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Izzie was very nervous about the surgery, she tried to concentrate on it the best way she could, but HE kept popping up in her mind… she had never told him about Hannah. Shortly before he left, they'd had a big fight about something she couldn't even remember, but it had something to do with his parents not excepting a girl from the trailer park as their sons girlfriend. So when he left he never called again and she found out she was pregnant, but wasn't able to call him, because he never gave her his number. Her feelings went back and forth between hating him, for leaving her alone, loving him and feeling guilty, that she had given up their child for adoption. He had never even met her. She at least had the opportunity to hold her for some time and kiss her goodbye. The Kline's, the family that adopted her, had even send her a pictures from her once.

Stop! She had to focus. The operation. She had done this operation a thousand times in her head and now she would actually DO it. Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close. Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close. It was simple, no worries.

She had scrubbed in and she could see all of the other interns sit in the gallery obviously taking bets if she could pull it off. She heard a few of them earlier, calling her Barbie and they said that she shouldn't even be there. She'd show them, she'd do this operation as if it was nothing special at all.

Dr. Burke looked at her.

"Okay Dr. Stevens, lets see what you can do."

"Scalpel." she said.

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To be continued

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	2. Chapter 2

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"Scalpel."

"Good cut, most of the new ones don't use enough pressure at first, very good." Her heart now beat even faster, her adrenalin level went nearly through the roof.

"Pick-ups." Izzie said.

"Pick-ups."

"Clamp." she said.

"Clamp."

"Okay, I'm there… Scalpel"

Okay, now she had to breath, now the appendix lied in her hand.

"I've got it out."

Izzie risks a glance to the gallery again and sees a few smiling faces and a few frowning, they have obviously lost a bet.

"Excellent Dr. Stevens."

"Thank you Dr. Burke."

"Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the cecum. And simultaneously pull up on the per strings but be careful not to break them… good, very good. You have a very easeful hand, Stevens."

"Thanks." Izzie smiles.

"Okay, well done, now continue."

Izzie did what was left to do with bravado and closed the patient up.

Now she heard cheers coming from the other interns and she waved quickly up to them.

Dr. Burke came to her and gave her his hand.

"We'll have to look out for you Stevens. Impressive first operation."

"Well, thank you for the opportunity! I loved it."

"Was it everything you imagined it to be?"

"Much more."

"That's how it is supposed to be. Let's scrub out."

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Later that night, Izzie, George, Meredith and Christina gather in their new discovered hide out. It was a deserted part of the hospital, were a few beds served as benches.

"I'm a rock star!" Izzie cheered, still coming down from her high.

"I'm jealous of you, you totally rocked." said Meredith.

"I am jealous too, but I would have pulled it off as good as you or even better." said Christina.

"There was nothing you could've done better, do you know what Burke said? He said I was impressive and that he'd look out for me. He said he never had an intern on his first day do such a good cut!"

"Whatever."

"I'm happy it wasn't me, I would have killed the patient." said George.

"Yeah, you didn't even know who…ow!" Izzie kicked Christina before she said something wrong.

"Meredith knows her mother Izzie and she knows we know her, only George didn't."

Meredith tried to force a little smile, but it never reached her eyes.

"Okay, now that Christina said it, I adore your mothers work. We all do, except for George who didn't know her."

"Now I do, stop saying it."

"Thanks, I guess." Mer said. "Now lets change the subject. Izzie rocked."

"We had that already. But she did, I give in. Still an easy operation." said Christina.

"Oh, says the girl who finished 1st in her class at Stanford. Maybe I should've gone into geriatrics. No one minds when you kill an old person." George winced, rolling around in a wheel chair.

„Surgery is hot."

„It's the marines."

„It's macho."

„It's hostile."

„It's hardcore. Geriatrics is for freaks who live with their mothers and never have sex." Christina and Izzie said in turns.

„I've gotta get my own place." everybody tried not to grin, while Meredith was paged to one of her patients and had to run off.

"Yang?"

"Stevens?"

"Let's rock some more!"

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It was 4 in the morning, when Izzie had her next time to breath, she learned how to make a central line and that it wasn't good to wake up the Nazi. Really not good.

She knew that eventually she would meet him again and that he was going to want to talk to her at some point, so when they were all gathered in a conference room together, she was pretty sure he was behind it and she was really agitated.

Christina was suturing up a banana to keep her mind awake and everybody else was on the brink of falling asleep.

Then he walked in and immediately began to talk.

"Well good morning. I'm gonna do something that's pretty rare for a surgeon. I'm gonna ask interns for help. I've got this kid Katie Bryce. Right now she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to our meds, labs are clean, scans are pure but she's having seizures. Grand mall seizures with no visible cause. She's a ticking clock. She's gonna die if I don't make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes. I need you to play detective. I need you to find out why Katie is having seizures. I know you're tired; your busy, you got more work than you can possibly handle. I understand. So I'm going to give you an incentive, whoever finds the answer rides with me. If Katie needs surgery, you get to do what no other interns get to do, scrub in to assist on advance procedure. Dr. Bailey is going to hand you Katie's chart. The clock is ticking fast people. If we're going to save Katie's life we have to do it soon. Oh, and good work last night Dr. Stevens."

Everybody looked at him perplexed as he left and Izzie forgot for a moment who was standing before her.

"Christina, Meredith, lets do it all together, so we rise up our chance to win. We'll be better together."

"I don't want it anyway, you two have to work alone." Mer said.

"Is this about… Mer seriously? This is about surgery! Advanced surgery!" Izzie nearly yelled at her.

"Well Izzie, I'm in, we'll just have to see who wins the price when we find out together."

"We'll figure something out. Let him decide or something."

"I say I get to do it, you have already been in the OR."

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They searched everywhere and thought of everything, until Meredith came in.

"I think I know what's going on, but I don't want it, so I'll tell you."

"Seriously?" they both asked surprised.

"Yes."

Christina looked at them both with sparkling eyes.

"Okay. You two have got to tell me what's going on with this Sheperd guy."

"We had sex with him." they both said.

Now, for the first time since they met her the day before, Christina Yang didn't know what to say. She only murmured "When?"

"Ten years ago."

"Last night, no the night before."

"Seriously?"

They both nodded and awaited her reaction.

"I know something weird was going on."

"Well technically I was in kind of a relationship with him for a summer when I was fifteen."

"A… a relationship?" Christina asked.

"Yes, he was already in Med School, but I decided long before that that I was going to be a surgeon."

"Oh he was your high school sweetheart"

"Nope. I lived in a trailer park, does he look like he grew up in a trailer park?"

"No, but neither do you."

They were silent for a second.

"Now, lets save Katie's life." Izzie broke the awkward silence.

They all stood up and on the way to Dr. Sheperd, Meredith told them what she thought Katie had.

"Derek stop! Ähm, I mean Dr. Sheperd, we think we know what's wrong with her."

They told him what Meredith had suggested, while he was starring at Izzie most of the time.

"Dr. Stevens, Dr. Yang, you know that the possibility that a minor fall caused this is like one to a million?"

"Yes we do, but there is a chance." Christina told him.

"Yeah, lets see if you're right."

When they were, Izzie let Christina scrub in, telling her it was because she already had an operation, but the true reason was, that she thought she could stand that close to him the hole time, but really she couldn't.

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"I think we should go celebrate our first surgeries tomorrow night, what do you think?"

"Deal, I think there is a bar on the other side of the street from the hospital."

"Yeah there is, it's were I met McDreamy."

Izzie looked at her. "You are calling him McDreamy? Please don't. I know he is, but please don't."

"Fine, I met Derek there."

"Better."

"Argh! I should sleep with Burke, he is a cardio god, than I'd have something to talk about, too."

"Well, we are not sleeping with him anymore!"

"But one of you is in the future, I can tell it."

"She can have him." they both said, while they walked outside to their cars.

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After 48 hours of straight work, Izzie all slept approximately six hours, until she had to get up again. She had to get out of this apartment, it was small and on the fifth level. She would also try to find something closer to the hospital.

Her day started fabulous as ever, when she walked in and nearly ran into Derek.

"I'm sorry."

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To be continued

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So what did you think?

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	3. Chapter 3

NEXT ONE!!!

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"Be careful Iz." he smiled shyly at her and she did the same. Like on their first meeting the time seemed to stop. It could have been hours they stood there.

"I… I can't be late for rounds."

"Of course, I'm going in the same direction, lets walk together."

"Fine, okay."

"We should really talk Izzie."

"We should, but not here. Isn't it the most unbelievable thing in the world, that we work here together? That you are my boss? And of course the fact, that you slept with Meredith three nights ago…" OF COURSE she wasn't jealous, but she hated that this would make it even more complicated than it already was.

"Oh that, right, stupid mistake, nobody could've known she'd be an intern here."

"No, nobody."

"So, what do you think about Joe's tonight?"

"We're celebrating our first surgeries, I'm already booked."

"Okay, tomorrow then."

"Fine by me!"

"That's a date!"

"A date?"

"Do you want it to be one?"

"But Mer is my friend and… lets start with only talking. We'll see later about the rest, okay?"

He nodded and she disappeared into the locker room.

"You talked to Derek?"

"Are you big on spying or anything?"

"I couldn't hear anything, I just saw you outside together."

"He asked me out for tomorrow night, I told him that I'd meet him, but not as a date, only as friends."

"He asked you out? Seriously?"

She nodded. "But tonight we are still on for celebrating!"

"It's fine, I'm not interested in him anyway."

"Tell that Bambi, but not us, we know you."

"We know each other for three days, you can't know me."

"We still do."

Meredith seemed a little bit pissed, but sobered up, when Bailey came in and hauled them all to do rounds.

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Many hours and three drinks later, the three of them, Christina, Meredith and Izzie, were joined by George.

"Evil Spawn is here somewhere, too." said George sitting down.

"I saw him walking in."

"He must be all alone, nobody would want to do anything with him." said Izzie, remembering the rude comments that he kept throwing at her.

"Hey Joe, give us another round, on me this time!"

They took their drinks and put them together in the middle.

"To being surgeons, to being here, to being together! To us!"

"To us!"

"To us!"

"To us!"

And they all drank their drinks in one big gulp.

Suddenly Meredith stood up and stormed in the direction of the entrance.

"What the hell is she doing?"

"Oh, it's only McDreamy."

Izzie saw his dark hair first and Meredith as she pulled him into a corner.

"Crisis conference."

George looked at Izzie knowingly.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure why?"

"Because your old boyfriend is now your boss…" George said.

"It's fine, I can handle it."

"And the Mer thing?"

"Derek is responsible enough not to start a relationship with an intern. I know him."

"Is he good in bed?" Christina asked bluntly.

"That's waaaay to private."

"It's not, spill."

Meredith came back to their table and sat down with a far-away-look on her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"If Derek is good in bed, we are awaiting Izzie's response."

"Well, back then we were both pretty inexperienced… but, yeah. No complains."

"Mer?"

"No complains either, but it's blurry, I was pretty drunk, so was he."

"What were you talking to him about?" Izzie asked.

"Private."

"Oh, you people are uptight, you can't even talk about sex without blushing."

"We're not uptight!" they both said.

"It old you!" Izzie continued.

"Than Mer is uptight."

"Fine… I asked him what this all meant and what we should do and he said that we should… that we shouldn't take it any further, because he is my boss and all…"

"But he is Iz's boss too!" George interjected.

"Perhaps for him there is a difference between a one-night-stand and a relationship. Whatever. I'm not jealous of Izzie."

"Mer…" Izzie said looking at her.

"I'm not going to start a relationship with him again, we had our reasons to break up."

"Which and how long were you together?" Christina asked coming closer to Izzie.

"When was that again?" George asked further.

"Damn, now I said too much. I can't tell you anything without being terrorized with questions… fine, I'll tell you why we split up, but than you will stop, promise?"

"Promise!"

Christina and George were very eager to not miss a thing, but Meredith just leaned back in her chair pretending to be not interested, while Izzie could clearly see, that she tried to listen to every word.

"Okay, I'll start with were I lived. I grew up in a trailer park, more exactly in Chehalis by the Highway. I lived there alone with my mum. A few trailers up the road lived a old couple, in a much larger trailer, it was more like a bungalow than a trailer. Well, Derek was their grandson so he came to visit often when he was younger, we played together and well, he vanished for a while and apparently when he came back, I… I was older and we came together, I was 15 and he was 21 or 22. He was in Med School and since I wanted to be a doctor since I was little, we hit it off. But well, he was rich, his parents didn't want a girl from the trailer park, so… so he left, after a big fight…"

The others were quiet for a moment.

"That sounds like Romeo and Juliet… kept apart because of the families." Meredith said, who had warmed up a little bit.

"Yeah… very romantic. I never saw him again afterwards."

"Until NOW?"

"Yeah."

"Bastard." Christina said.

"I think he didn't know what to say and he was kind of right. His whole family hated me, it's it was better that way."

"Don't protect him."

They all looked at her and when Izzie realized they weren't celebrating anymore because of her, she ordered another round.

"No long faces."

"Poor Izzie."

"Oh come on guys, I'm not poor, I'm a doctor! How much better can I get? LET'S PARTY!!! Joe, get us some more drinks!"

Half of the bar looked at her and Izzie blushed a bit.

What she didn't see, was Derek watching her too, smiling about how funny and beautiful she still was after all these years.

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To be continued…

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Okay, I am already working on the next one… please write something ;-)

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	4. Chapter 4

**Here it is!**

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When her alarm clock went off at 4.15h the next morning she was really tempted to just turn it off, turn around and sleep a little bit more. Of course she knew she couldn't do that, so she let her body roll off her bed. She landed with a loud thud on the floor.

She stood and went strait under the shower. She made it as cold as possible, so her brain would wake up too. Afterwards she felt much better and got ready quickly. She even had time to make breakfast for everybody, because hey had moved in the day before. Then she realized there was nobody else. Meredith and George had to be still asleep. Meredith did have much to drink the night before, so she didn't blame her.

She went upstairs. She got George out of bed pretty easily, but it was something else with Mer.

"Mer! Get up!" she said when she opened the door.

She lay still.

"Mer!" she said a little bit louder and shook her a bit on her shoulder.

"Get up! A lot of bloody surgeries and very ill patients are waiting for us. Hopefully."

"Don't scream. My head!" Mer whispered.

"Okay, but you have to get up, I made some breakfast for everybody."

"I love you, it was a good decision to let you live here."

"And pain drugs are at the table."

Twenty minutes later everybody sat at the table and George and Mer looked like somebody had killed them and brought them back to life.

"Why do you have no headache at all Iz? It's not fair!" George mumbled.

"I've some neat tricks from my model days. I ate a Banana, drank a glass of milk and had one Paracetamol last night, makes all the pain go away."

"And you have your date with McDreamy tonight." he added.

"It's not a date. We just want to catch up." she answered and stood up.

"Okay, I'll get going."

"Is it already time?"

"It is."

"God help me." Meredith said with her head on her arms.

"Your god should be a cup of coffee, here." Izzie handed her a cup and Meredith drank it willingly.

"Now get up your buds, I don't want to see Bailey when we are all late." Izzie said and put her jacket on, followed by George and a grumpy Meredith.

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She saw Derek only once all day and then he didn't even see her. It was in the cafeteria and he was getting his coffee at the stand.

What was she getting herself into? Could she really tell him tonight? That they had a kid? Did she want the others to know? How would they react? She only knew them for a few days but they were already more than just work people to her. They were her friends.

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She was getting ready and couldn't decide what to wear. It wasn't a date, so nothing that says 'take off my cloths', but she knew it wasn't a meeting of old friends either, it could never be just that between them, no matter how long she told herself that. In the end, when she only had 20 minutes left until she had to be in the bar, she put on a black dress up to the knees and a grey cardigan over it. Than she put her hair up in a casual bun and slipped in a couple of ballerinas.

She nearly sprinted out the door to the car, because she was running a bit late.

When she arrived he already sat at the bar, wearing a nice shirt and a jeans, drink in hand and one for her waiting beside him.

"Starting without me?"

He turned around and stood up, looking her up and down.

"Hey, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself."

They smiled at each other for a while and then he pulled out a chair for her to sit down.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They sat in silence for awhile, nobody wanted to start talking it seemed. The past hurt to much to be reopened.

"So ähm, I'm married."

"WHAT?… sorry, I'm just shocked."

"We're getting a divorce."

"Wow. Do I know her?"

"It's Addison? Remember? I used to tell you about my friends in med school? She was one of them. When I returned home… that summer, she was there."

Izzie looked down at her drink now, all of her good intentions to tell him, were blown right out under her.

"She cheated on me with Mark."

"Mark? As in the guy who came with you sometimes when we we're younger? Your best friend?"

"The one and only."

"I'm so sorry, that must've been horrible!"

"It was, but I'm starting to get over it. She is not worth the tears."

"Good for you… I mean, that you are dealing with it."

"Yeah. And thank god there are no kids involved."

A big, heavy stone dropped to the floor when she heard that, she hadn't known how to ask, but he answered the question for her.

"Yeah, lucky."

"Do you ever wonder about what would have happened if I had stayed?"

Izzie nearly had to laugh out of the irony of the situation. Of course she had thought about it.

"Just like every night after you left… and then some years." she said and broke the eye contact they had been holding.

"I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't strong enough against my family. I have learned a lot since then, I've grown."

"Yeah right… I'm sorry, the last thing I want is to start a fight."

"It's alright, I left you. I left you without saying goodbye. I'm so sorry."

"That's in the past, I'm over it, you should too. Besides I was fifteen then." she gave him a reassuring smile.

"Okay, now tell me about you, what have you been doing. How did you convince your mother to let you go to med school?"

"I left the park when I was eighteen and never went back. I had to get a clean cut if I ever wanted to become surgeon. So I financed school… with modeling, underwear and stuff…"

He jut wanted to take a sip from his drink, when he stopped.

"You paid your way through med school with modeling? You must've been really good! Nobody can just… wow! What did you do? Like Wal-Mart catalogues?"

"Oh thanks! Wal-Mart? You don't think I could do better?" she laughed and hit him playfully and he mocked being hurt.

"I modeled for Bethany Whisper and, you know, famous labels."

"Wow, I must've seen you somewhere, but didn't know it was you."

"Actually my last job will be in some magazines soon… I hope nobody in the hospital recognizes me. That would be so embarrassing! It's already hard being blond."

"I know, I have the hair thing too. Woman tend to stare at it all the time."

"Because you hair is amazing. I love your hair."

She was surprised how easy they talked about everything, they were really open with each other.

"And I love yours, good that we established that! Did I already tell you that you look gorgeous tonight?"

"Yes you did." she said and blushed. Oh god, now he looked at her with this puppy eyes. Eyes to kill.

"And I love your eyes too." she said, staring back at him. She couldn't help it. She was falling for him again. Clear and simple. She had thought she could do the only-being-friends thing, but with every minute she spent with him, she lost a piece of that intent.

They spent the next two hours talking and catching up, she tried to avoid the topic of their breakup, because it was so closely tied to the pregnancy and luckily he didn't seem to mind either.

"You wanna take a walk?" he asked out of nowhere, still looking at her.

She couldn't bring out a single word, so she just nodded. Without even looking, he pulled out his wallet and paid Joe. Then he took her hand in his and pulled her out of the pub.

"Wow, it is cold." she said.

He took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders, then he wrapped one arm around her.

"Let's take a walk." he said.

"Let's not."

He looked at her confused.

"Why not?"

"Work. Very early in the morning. For both of us. If I'm not 100% there, Bailey will kick my ass."

"Fine, but let me drive you home."

"I have my car here."

"The hospital is right here. Get a ride with Meredith in the morning. I heard you are living together now? I'd really like to bring you home."

"Fine, I'd be happy to drive with you."

"Great, wait here I'll get the car."

He walked around the corner and a second later he pulled up, jumped out of the car and opened the car door for her.

"This isn't a date, you don't have to do this."

"But I want to." he said, closed the door and got back behind the wheel.

They didn't talk much on the ride to her house except for her giving him directions.

Now they stood outside on the porch.

"Here we are."

"Yeah."

Then he leaned in to kiss her and she nearly did, but in the last second she pulled back.

"I can't. You have to know something. I've been avoiding it for the whole evening, but you should really know about this."

"What, just say it. I won't get mad."

"Don't be so sure." she said and closed her eyes to focus.

She took out her purse and pulled out an old crumbled picture.

"A week after you left, I found out I was pregnant, with your baby…. But I gave her up for adoption." A few lonely tears were now running down her cheek, as she handed him the only picture she had of their daughter.

"Her name is Hannah."

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To be continued…

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**How will he react? What will he say? Will he be angry? Sad? Sorry? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!!**

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	5. Chapter 5

**"Only the two of them as a little family, though missing the most important part."**

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Derek took the picture out of her hand, but couldn't say a word. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to form a sentence, but it didn't work. She was patient and waited for him, he had the right to be stunned. Without taking his eyes off the photo, he said down in the large porch swing. Then he stretched out his arm and pulled her down to sit beside him.

"I'm, so sorry Iz."

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for, I gave her up. You should be furious with me for not telling you, you never had the chance to meet her."

"But I left you alone and I didn't even give you the chance to call or tell me."

She didn't say anything, because she thought he wasn't finished yet.

"It must've been horrible for you. And you were all alone."

"I was not alone. Not all alone anyways. I had my mom and I had a nice teacher who helped me make the decision… It was one of the hardest thing I've ever done, giving her up, but it was the only way for her… and me, to have a happy, normal life. I didn't want our daughter to grow up in the Chehalis trailer park. And I wanted more for myself too. You know I always wanted to be a doctor, but…"

"You don't have to justify yourself. I'm not mad at you. Don't ever think that, okay?"

He took her hand in his and continued, being much more direct, now that he had processed the first initial shock.

"I would have loved to see her when she was born and I would have loved to raise her together with you, but it's not your fault. And I do not blame you. You did the only thing possible. I probably would have done the same in your position."

She smiled. "It's not so easy for boys to end up in such a position."

He smiled back. "True. But please believe me."

"I do and thank you, that you understand."

He shifted his gaze away from her into the blackness of the garden, but still holding her hand.

"I have a daughter. I'm a father. Well kind of."

"We are still her parents. We're just not her mum and dad."

"How long was she with you?"

"I only had her for a few hours. I named her Sarah."

"Can you tell me about her?" he asked, looking at her again if that was too much for her, but she didn't seem to mind, she even smiled, but then there were fresh tears.

"She was the most wonderful baby in the whole world. She was very small when she was born, she had my hair and your eyes. Some people say every baby looks the same, but she didn't. She was pure perfection." she said, letting out a small sob.

"I'm sorry, you just learned you had a daughter you didn't know about and I'm crying like moron."

"It's okay." she took breath and put her second hand around their intertwined ones.

"When she was five, I received a letter with a picture of her, from her adoptive parents. They told me she collects pigs and she's a great swimmer and well, you have the picture in your hand, she is older now of course, nine years old."

"She is so beautiful, just like her mum. I can't believe I wasn't there for you when you needed someone. I should've been there, no matter what."

He tried to give her the picture back, but she denied.

"Keep it, I have a copy at home."

"Thank you." he pulled her into a hug, she was a bit surprised at first, but than she embraced him too. They sat like that what seemed like hours. Time stood still. They just cried. Cried about what they had lost. What they had missed and what lay ahead of them. In this moment, the past collided hard with the present and absorbed them. Nothing else seemed to matter right then. Only the two of them as a little family, though missing the most important part. Then, simultaneously, they pulled apart, but still holding on to one another.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, minding that he must still be in a little bit of shock, but he looked at her and spoke very calmly.

"I'm good, I couldn't be better, I'm with the mother of my child. What on earth would I else want?"

She smiled her biggest smile, being very happy about how everything had turned out. He wasn't angry with her, he even understood her.

"Now Isobel Katherine Stevens, may I kiss you?"

"You may."

He took her face between his lovely, soft hands and closed the distance, until they were just mere millimeters apart, he let her decide. She closed the gab and their lips touched after years of being kept apart. Oh, it felt so right, she thought. The kiss only lasted for ten seconds, then he embraced her again.

"Thank you for telling me. And I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry for my parents. I'm so sorry."

"And I'm sorry too. The past is the past, we can't change it. We can only work with what we have."

"Now we have each other and I'm not willing to give that up ever again."

They both stood.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Let's not tell anyone. At least for now, I… I don't want them to think you'll favor me now."

"When anybody favors you in the next few days it'll be because of the appendix. You totally deserve to be favored a little bit. And now I'll go home, I will probably not be able to sleep, but I should at least try."

She smiled and he gave her another little kiss, before going back to his car.

"Goodnight." she said.

"Goodnight to you too."

He climbed in his car and drove off, leaving behind his jacket and part of his heart.

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To be continued…

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**Any thoughts? Was this too fluffy? Too much heartbreak? I find it hard to write these scenes without being a bit corny, especially because English I not my first language as you may have noticed at one time or the other.**

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	6. Chapter 6

This story totally deserved an update.

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He knew what she did and he wasn't angry. He understood why she did it. What more could she wish for? Closing her locker door, she sat down on the bench in front of it, as Meredith and Christina came in.

"How was you date?" Christina asked and earned a serious glance from Mer and Izzie.

"It wasn't a date." they both said.

"Okay, you are jealous and you are in denial. You two really have to work some things out. Derek obviously regrets the one night stand and he is obviously head over heals into Izzie."

"I think, that Burke likes you." Izzie said, trying to change the subject.

"No, he doesn't, he is a god."

"Okay, who is in denial now?" Izzie responded bluntly.

"But we still get an answer about how your 'meeting' with Dr. Sheperd went, right?"

Izzie rolled her eyes, but didn't answer, there was nothing she could tell them.

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"Karev is with Burke, Yang sutures, O'Malley you are with me and Grey and Stevens you are with Sheperd."

"Oh, that should be interesting." Christina murmured and looked at them

"No, it's fine."

"Are you finished or is there anything else you want to tell me? Perhaps if the people in the pit are nice or if the nurses like you?"

"Sorry." they said and practically ran away to go were they were told to go.

On the way, there as an awkward silence between Meredith and Izzie.

"Izzie, Christina is right, we are in denial. Derek is into you and I have to get over him."

"Mer, if I could I would make it all go away. I want you to be happy and who knows what might have been, when I hadn't known Derek before last week… but I can't change it and I can feel, that he still has some mighty spell over me, like he used to… I thought that all my feelings went away, but the truth is he is still McDreamy and I can't change one thing about it. Sorry."

"I want you to be happy too and if Derek is the one for you I will support you wherever I can."

Izzie stopped and pulled Meredith into a hug.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me."

Somebody cleared his throat next to them and they pulled apart, it was Derek.

"Okay, Dr. Stevens, Dr. Grey, we have a new patient. Elena Summers is 27 years old, has an inoperable brain tumor we are going to operate on and she has nobody, so you two are going to be her family for the next few days, you are also her doctors, but she needs some support, which she doesn't get from her family. They think she is stupid to go through with the operation and have left her alone."

"They are afraid." Izzie said.

"Yes they are, but we can't do anything about it."

"Should we talk to them again?" Meredith asked.

"I tried that, but they wouldn't listen, the operation is very risky and the chance she dies is higher than the chance she lives. Let's go."

They sighed and followed him into the patients room.

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.Later that day, Mer and Izzie were sitting by Elena's bed, but she was sleeping.

"Poor girl, has nobody by her side. This must be very hard." Mer said and looked at Izzie.

"It is." Izzie answered, knowing how Elena must feel, she didn't get much support either when she was fifteen. This was something totally different of course.

"Yeah…" Mer said as if she also knew how it feels.

"Can I ask you something Mer?"

"Uhm, sure. Why not."

"Is your mom still around? I know it's a very personal question and if you don't want to answer it it's fine."

"I'll answer if you'll answer a question for me too."

Izzie hesitated a bit. Meredith would ask her something about Derek and her history and she wasn't sure if she was ready for everyone to know, but friends were supposed to know stuff like that, weren't they?

"Okay." she answered.

"Ellis Grey is not Ellis Grey anymore, at least not the fifty-five year old Ellis Grey. She has Alzheimer's and lives in a Home. She doesn't want anybody to know though, so please don't talk to anyone about this in this hospital and outside of it, okay?"

"Of course. I'm very sorry. How bad is it?"

"She has good days and bad days, but mostly she thinks I'm still six, she is still married to my father, whom she hates and she thinks she is still a doctor. It gets worse."

"Are you her legal guardian?"

"Not yet, but I'll be soon."

"And your father?"

"Don't know him really." Izzie was smart enough not to press the father matter any further and left it at that.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." she said instead.

"Thank you Izzie."

They were quiet for a moment and Izzie knew Meredith was just thinking about her question.

"What was it you wanted to ask me?"

"Well, I know, that you grew up with your mother in a trailer park and that you were a model. And I know, that you dated McDr… Dr. Sheperd."

"Correct."

"How was it? I mean growing up there? Where did you go to school and what did your mother do? I'm just curious."

It wasn't what Izzie had expected, but she was happy it wasn't anything about Derek, so she answered gladly.

"The trailer park was a hell hole most of the time, at least in my experience. There were happy families of course, but it was never easy for me and my mother. My mum had me when she was twenty-three and she had never learned anything, so she worked in the diner most of her live. 24h shifts and bad pay. My dad left us when I was seven, I still have one or two pretty nasty scars from him, so we were happy when he left. But he also earned good money in the wood factory, so we now had to live from much less money than before. I started washing dishes in the diner at nights, because I went to school at day. When I was old enough, I waited tables too, to get us through. My mum used to, well she pretty sure still does, a lot of money on fortune tellers and crazy people."

Izzie stood up and checked Elena's vitals and when Mere didn't say anything she just continued.

"So I basically worked for the bills and I got fed up with it very fast. I somehow managed to keep up my grates and with the motivation and help of a nice teacher, I left when I was eighteen. I haven't talked to my mother since. I went to med school and modeled."

"Why did you want to become a doctor?"

Now she had told her nearly everything, she could also tell her that.

"Once our neighbor beat up my dad very bad and he had internal bleeding and when my mum and I were at the hospital with him and they saved his life, I knew that was what I wanted to do. I was five then."

Mer had a look of disbelief on her face. Izzie had it very hard in her life.

"Was it that dangerous in your neighborhood?"

"Yes, it was…"

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To be continued…

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Okay? Not so okay? Please tell me!

I love your reviews, thanks a lot!

I love my loyal reviewers!

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	7. Chapter 7

**I hope I get the characters right, but I'm not so sure, so if you have any comments or ideas, I would be very glad for the help!**

**Enjoy!**

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"_Was it that dangerous in your neighborhood?"_

"_Yes, it was…"_

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Izzie went back to the chair next to Meredith and sat down.

"… There were good parts in the park and bad, and unfortunately we lived in the bad area. I'm glad that nothing serious ever happened to me, girls didn't like me because I was good looking and the boys, well the boys liked me because of it, but it was more creepy than anything else. I just never seemed to fit in anywhere."

"Who wouldn't want to be friends with you? I mean you are annoyingly happy all the time and overly pleasant, but…"

"To be honest I didn't want to be friends with them either, so it was fine. I had my schoolwork and my waiting job, so I wouldn't have ha time for friends anyway."

"Except for Derek…"

Izzie nodded, but they were luckily interrupted by Elena waking up.

"Hello Miss Summers! How are you feeling?"

"Okay. But my back is killing me."

"Wait, I'll put your bed up a bit and I'll give you some pain killers, that should help. Do you want another pillow?"

"Yes, thank you Dr. Stevens that would be nice."

"No problem."

Izzie wet out of the room for a moment to get another pillow and Elena looked at Meredith.

"You look sad Dr. Grey."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"No, something is going on, has it something to do with your friend?"

"What, you heard?"

"Yeah, I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, I just woke up and didn't want to interrupt. It makes me sad when I hear such stories, but I guess I am such a story now myself…"

"You're not Elena, your family will realize how stupid they were and will come back here, don't worry."

Izzie had come back into the room without them noticing and wanted to reassure her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to listen in earlier."

"It's fine." Izzie said and smiled at Elena warmly.

"But anyways, you are in good hands her and if you need anything at all, you can always let the nurses page us. We'll come anytime." Meredith said.

"Dr. Sheperd assigned you stay with me hasn't he?"

They looked at each other and knew, they couldn't lie to her.

"Yes, but that's not only why we are here, we don't want you to be alone." Meredith answered for them.

"And if you want us to, we can try and call your people again."

"No, that's fine. I have you as my people now, who needs people who aren't even supporting you own decisions?"

"Point taken." Izzie replied and smiled at her.

"I'm afraid, but I now I can survive this, when I only try hard enough, I could never just give up. They wanted me to come home and live another few happy month at home before I die in my sleep without any pain, but it wouldn't make me happy if I knew I hadn't done anything in my power to live… they can't understand that."

"We do."

"Because of the cool surgery?"

"No. I think I would have done the same. I don't know how it is, but I think I would have." Izzie said.

"You are wrong Dr. Stevens, you fought to get out of the trailer park, that is an accomplishment. You could have sat back and done nothing, just continue working at the diner, stopping school, but you made it, so I think you know what you are talking about… and that's makes you an even better doctor."

Izzie blushed "Thank you Elena… is it okay if I call you Elena?"

"Of course, you are my people."

"So call us Izzie and Meredith then." Mer said and stood up. "We are going to eat lunch now, we'll be back later."

Izzie also stood up and followed Meredith out of the room.

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To be continued...

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.·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .L.·. .·. .·. .e.·. .·. .·. .o.·. .·. .·. .n.·. .·. .·. .i.·. .·. .·. .e.·. .·. .·. .1.·. .·. .·. .9.·. .·. .·. .8.·. .·. .·. .8. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·. .·.

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**I know this was a short chapter, but there will be more soon!**

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